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04 September 2007 @ 02:54 pm
I was so excited about working at Taco Bell a few weeks ago. Don't ever work there, it sucks shit. I just quit.

But, a few good things came. I learned and gained. I learned that working there sucks shit. But I gained a new video card, a new mp3 player, and a few other spiffy technologies. Yay me.
Mood: calmcalm
Listening to: Guns n' Roses - Sweet Child of Mine
14 July 2007 @ 01:11 am
Whee, I have a job next week :3

Most of the money coming from my paychecks is going towards my computer. Need a bigger monitor, a new router, more RAM, a better video card, possibly more drive space... and maybe some other upgrades. Anything I don't spend is going in my savings for a car. Muahaha. I got my food handler's certificate today, so I don't have to work the register :D

Also, job is at Taco Bell, which is fine, because it's my first job, I need experience, and money, and I love to eat there anyhow, so booyah.

Oh and a new mp3 player, because my other one's screen cracked >_> Basically a 2GB flash drive now.
Mood: tiredtired
Listening to: The Pillows - Ride on Shooting Star
10 July 2007 @ 01:34 am
Pieces of candy. On a mountaintop. In Egypt. Skateboarding down the pyramids on my hands with a baby giraffe. Butter lobs from the mountaintops, destroying my kingdom of Salisbury steak and Neptune salad. mm... steak...

As I skateboard backwards down the pyramids on my hands with a baby giraffe, I realize I left the roast. A button on my belt deploys my space canoe, Mike, and I take a ride to southern Moscow, which, at this time, is still part of Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, pyramid skateboard on hands backwards with baby giraffe on you.

Lurking in the bushes before my house, I see the mailman, delivering... Mail? I think to myself that this is an impossibility. After sneaking up behind him, I whip my deadly apple to his throat and try to interrogate him. After receiving little information about who he works for, I retreat into the safety of my abode, where I eat my meal of butter and honey, and go to sleep. The cardboard on walls are soggy from the rainstorm, but should stay up through the upcoming hurricane.

Pieces of jerky construct the ceiling in my room. The bathroom in this house is but an igloo with a hole in the center. Very fancy... Suddenly, boom. A lob of butter hits my roof, creating a slippery, smoked hickory mess. I've eaten my room... poop. Oh well, I sleep now, to wake up to another day.

No, seriously, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight.
Location: house
Mood: blankblank
Listening to: Alizee
13 June 2007 @ 02:33 am
Turns out the homosexual panda in my previous story was actually female. So... It wasn't homosexual. It just likes humans ;)

Also, it speaks Gnome, Orc, and  .... Egg. Yes, the panda speaks 4 different languages. Gnome, Orc, Egg, and English..... Well 5, obviously, it speaks panda :P
Listening to: Yo mama :|
13 June 2007 @ 02:15 am
They are small, blue, and I hate them. The other day, someone made one out of clay and threw it at me. They did not expect that I would put it on the table and smash it with my fist. Stupid smurfs >_>

'Tis 2:16 am as I write this entry, and I am bored as hell. :| Damn you people, and your sleep. Stay on CoD longer so I have someone to talk to ;_;

My room smells like burning paper for the reason it would. I have the fan running towards the window, but it isn't really doing much. Might have to spray some stuff. I rearranged the stuff in my nightstand drawer, and now I can fit twice the crap in it. Yay. I have much crap to put in that drawer. The fucking cat is still outside my window meowing. Freaking dimwhit can't get the clue that I'm not letting him in. He usually hops on the roof and goes through the window in my mom's room, which is open, but he can't seem to get the damn picture :|

Sitting here in my room, which smells like burning paper and failure, I become bored and resort to posting about it. Something tells me tomorrow will be good. I don't know why, I just think it will. Also, I need a new avatar. Will get one up in short time.

My LCD screen has stuff all over it; dust, water specs, spit specs (lol), Mt. Dew specs, and just stuff. I can't get it off with my finger, because that will scratch off the thin film on the surface, which isn't good, and also has a good chance of ruining the screen itself. And I can't get it off with this cloth I have for cleaning glasses, because .... Well, it just doesn't work. Any suggestions on how to get the stuff off my screen (that won't cost much)?

It is now 2:23 PM as I'm typing. Man, I take a while, eh? Of course, I'm also up to other things, like eliminating the smell in my room, and getting shit out of my eye. Arghh... Anyhow.... I think I'm done here. Also, my time zone is GMT -8 (Pacific), so do the math on how late it is there compared to here ;)
Listening to: The Ultimate Showdown - Lemon Demon
12 June 2007 @ 12:56 am
I named it Shim. He didn't like it. He then died of a heart attack. Anyhow, the moral of the story is, never tell your father his man boobies are 'hawt.' I haven't seen my father since I was two, buut, that's probably not a good idea :|
Location: Just my room
Mood: lonelylonely
Listening to: None
11 June 2007 @ 09:17 pm

I wake up to a thud. It came from the roof, did it not? I venture outside, into the shallow wilderness of the grass. The ladder next to the house is slippery, cold, and wet. I pick it up, extend it, and place it into position.

I climb up the cold steel to the top, and upon further examination, find... A... A... Panda........ Sleeping on my roof. By instinct, I know that this panda loves ham and cucumber. He lies in the moonlight, accompanied by what looks to be a rusty spork and a can of.. Old spam...

I don't bother the gentle beast, and retract back into my dwelling. As I'm on my computer, the panda slowly hangs himself by the feet on the roof and lowers himself to my window, on the second floor. He peers in, only to see me typing. After a silent, stealthy removal of the screen, he creeks open his can of expired spam, releasing several disgusting scents of bacteria and mold. Me, minding my own business, can't smell the odor, because of the wind. Suddenly *PLAT* I'm hit with disgusting, expired gooey meats.

Struggling for air, I fall to the ground. A large bubble of the old meat forms and explodes, sending what is believed to be hotdog meat all over the room. Gasping for air, I slowly stand up and peer out the window. Nothing. A white hair lies on my window sill.

Stealthily, I walk over to the window and pick up the hair... Sniff sniff..... PANDA! I jolt downstairs in an effort to get to my refrigerator. I open it up, pull out a cucumber and some sliced ham, and get some bread from the pantry. Venturing back upstairs, I make a sandwich as I go...Yum... Sandwich...

Noticing my mistake, I walk back downstairs, go outside, and begin up the ladder. After reaching the top, the panda is nowhere to be found. I slowly walk to the center of the roof, and lay the sandwich. Then I go back inside.

In my room, I whisper and talk to myself... "Now I wait... I've planted a ham and cucumber sandwich atop the house." I think for a moment. "I'm not sure what that's supposed to do, but I know he loves ham and cucumber."

I hear a screaming boy next door. It's annoying, and I can't deal with it any longer. I grab my magical fishing rod, and attach a hook to the end. I point the rod out my window, and with a mighty swing backwards, thrust the hook to the top of the house. The magic in the rod tells me I've hooked something. I reel in. Shazam! A ham and cucumber sandwich!

I un-hook the tasty sandwich, put my rod away, and toss the lunch food into the boys room. I hear a pounding on the roof. I look up, through my window, and spot that panda sniffing around. LEAP! The panda makes a leap of faith into the boys bedroom! The screaming stops. The beast leaps back onto my roof, with a sandwich in it's mouth. I can't hear the little boy.... Perhaps the panda mistook the little boy for the sandwich, then got it after eating him? Hooray, we both win!

The panda lowers itself from my roof again. Upside down from each other, we stare into each other's eyes. It seems like an eternity before it is interrupted. As I stare, the panda, without me knowing, slowly wraps it's arms around my back. Suddenly in grasp, the panda leans me forward and lands a hot smooch right on the lips! Yuck! I push him off, saying "I don't swing that way, yo."

The panda frowns and ascends back up the roof. Moments later I see him walk down the road, and disappear into the darkness.

Hours pass.... I get lonely..... "I miss the panda..." I say to myself. I go outside and walk down the road. Towards the end of the road, I see a pair of glittering eyes. Naturally, I walk towards them. "Panda?" I whisper... I take out a flashlight and shine around a little to find.....

....A squirrel? I snap my fingers. Suddenly, I am overwhelmed by a beastly weight, and fall to the ground. I buck the beast off, flip it over, land on top, and stare into the creatures eyes. I pick up my flashlight and point it at the creature.... "PANDA!!!" I yell. The panda licks my face, I gasp in astonishment. Snuggling the panda's soft fur, I get comfy. We stand up. And walk back to the house. THE END, FAG.

===**=*==*BONUS BATTLE SCENE*==*=**===

The panda frowns and ascends back up the roof. Moments later I see him walk down the road, and disappear into the darkness. I chase after it, and stand aloof in the center of the road where it disappeared. I hear rattling in the bush to the east. I pull out a dagger concealed in my belt. *SWOOSH* The dagger goes flying into the bush. Nothing. I look behind myself as I hear pounding footsteps.

A large paw comes from the darkness and slams into my head, sending me sprawling to the ground. I get up, and see the panda........

MORE LATER I'M BORED, Also, I used the word "I" too many times :| I'm better at third person stuff.
Location: Room
Mood: See previous moods (I think)
Listening to: Metroid Prime 2 Musics
07 May 2007 @ 09:20 pm
After Al Gore invented the infamous Manbearpig, it ran rampant across the wild, destroying many villages and killing many species of rock. The Manbearpig was eventually destroyed when a flying ball of lint detached itself from the moon and hurdled into it's forehead. The Manbearpig's corpse fed the nearby villagers for many years.

Villagers feasting on Manbearpig were granted divine knowledge of the world, and eventually surpassed Al Gore in his technological advancements. Over the course of the next few hundred years, the civilization molded itself into what we know it as today.

In the near future, humans will adapt to colder waters, and grow webbed feet and hands, and eventually submerge their homes underwater, as the polar icecaps melt. The melting, though, will not be caused by global warming, but another force, only known as "4chan."

The humans and animals will all adapt the webbed limb feature, living in harmony underwater for many a year. But underwater nuclear holocaust is only around the corner. The new web-footed humans developed underwater nuclear torpedoes, in hopes of destroying Atlantis, which was discovered soon after George W. Fish became president of the United Nothing.

The torpedo backfired and destroyed an entire civilization. The humans finally decided to side with the Rhino-fish, and invented a new type of food known as "Urgmaoo," which granted supernatural underwater fire powers. These powers would allow the user to create fire underwater, as often seen in the popular television show known as Spongebob Squarepants (How the got fire down there, nobody knows).

Aand, I'm bored again. More history coming later :D
Location: House, again
Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Listening to: Nothing, again
07 May 2007 @ 08:48 pm
I got a LJ for some stupid reason because I'm bored :D
Location: House
Mood: lazylazy
Listening to: Nothing :D
07 May 2007 @ 08:31 pm
The dialogue used in the popular game series known as "The Sims" was originally developed by ancient Africans as a Satanic ritual to summon the demons of Hades to devour small virgins.

The virgins eaten by the demons would act as a sacrifice to the bird people of northern Egypt. The sacrifice is still unknown as to what it was used for.

Satanic rituals performed by the ancient Africans would often include the devouring of small virgins, along with thousands of women being raped in their sleep. The society crumbled at the sight of the game known as "Tetris" and everyone was destroyed by an intense light created by the moon, which, at the time, was a perfect cube.

Many people believe that this "Cube moon" would act as a protector, or god, if you will, to the bird people of northern Egypt. Ancient inscriptions say that the village boob would often ascend the tallest tree, in hopes of touching this cube in the sky, and would often fall and break most of their bones.

Normally, the village boob would be healed or taken care of by a priest or doctor in the area, soon recovering from most of the wounds inflicted. During this time, it seemed as if the corners on the moon were rounding out. Over the next few hundred years, the moon became the circle we know it as today. The rounding was caused by Zeus, the king of gods, sky, and thunder, as he repeatedly struck it with a large trout when nobody was looking.

After the moon's corners had rounded, a traveling Paladin known by the name of Anglebus was eaten by a large froad (frog toad). The froad then exploded, spewing Anglebus through the forest, and granting him supreme power over the planet upon waking up.

Anglebus had three children, who's names do not matter. These three children grew each to be six years old, and destroyed the planet. The planet was then recreated by the almighty Raptor Jesus, and was then known by the name of "Earth."

Raptor Jesus then created the first new human, by the name of Al Gore. Al excelled in the art of technology, and shortly after being created, invented the internets, and the infamous Manbearpig.

More to come at another time :D
Location: Mah house
Mood: Bored
Listening to: Stevie Wonder - Superstition